Cosmopolitan’s April Issue explaines Hollywood’s newest “it” job – intimacy coordinator and what it’s really like to film sex scenes in 2019.
A job that shockingly didn’t exist until 2015, the person in this role is responsible for ensuring everyone on set is comfortable during simulated sex scenes, respecting each other’s boundaries and following best practices.
Cosmo spoke to actress Emily Meade (star of HBO series “The Deuce”) and HBO’s first-ever in-house intimacy coordinator Alicia Rodis about the importance of this niche profession and the incredible ripple effect it has had throughout the industry.
QUOTES:
Emily Meade on why she asked for HBO to hire an intimacy coordinator: “When you’re doing any stunt on-set, there’s a stunt coordinator. When there’s an animal, there’s an animal handler. And yet, when we’re doing sex scenes, there’s no protection in place. In my head, I was like, there should be some sort of liaison to oversee this. I was doing those scenes at a much higher volume. Time’s Up and #MeToo brought me to this place of realizing that I felt uncomfortable and unhappy. And now we’re actually allowed to be unhappy.”
Emily Meade on Alicia’s hiring: “A lot of people were afraid at first, like, ‘Alicia’s gonna come in and make everything PG.’ But the feedback about her has been great. The only thing that’s been frustrating is people who’ve said, ‘Well, you signed on to play a porn star, so what were you expecting?’ I’m an actor who signed on to tell the story of porn. I didn’t sign on to feel sexualized and uncomfortable in my real life.”
Emily Meade on the ripple effect of her request: “I was somebody who fantasized about making a difference. Then you get into the business. Everything’s very ugly. You don’t feel like you have that power. To turn the fact that I felt powerless for so long into something that’s actually making a difference has been the most surreal and satisfying experience.”
Alicia Rodis on the uniqueness of her position: “It’s not one of those professions where someone can just jump on the bandwagon. You can’t say you’re an intimacy coordinator the same way you might say ‘I’m an Instagram influencer now’ or whatever.”
Alicia Rodis on the nuances of her position: “When we put our bodies in certain positions, there might be a vascular reaction. I try to make sure we have barriers made of everything from silicone to neoprene so that if someone does have a reaction, you don’t have to feel it…We’re not there to police. We are another presence in the room to help coordinate the conversations.”
Alicia Rodis on why directors shouldn’t tell actors to “just go for it”: The problem, Rodis argues, is that “just going for it” leaves space for thinly veiled—and sometimes not-so-thinly veiled—sexual assault. “When people say, ‘I want this to be real,’ it’s like, no, you don’t want it to be real. This is not a documentary. I don’t want to know how you kiss. I want to know how your character kisses.”