For Oprah’s What I Know For Sure column, she opens up about her longtime relationship with Stedman, including her first impression of him, why their relationship works and why they both agree they wouldn’t be together today if they had married.

This appears in O Mag’s February 2020 issue, breaking and on stands January 21st.

For a special Valentine’s Day-themed edition of OprahMag.com’s series, The OG Chronicles, Oprah and Gayle read from on-theme Hallmark cards as they weigh in on the right time to say that big first “I love you,” how to celebrate V-Day with a friend with benefits (spoiler alert: don’t), and more. They also touch on Valentine’s Day gift-giving, and Oprah even reveals the romantic gesture longtime partner Stedman Graham does for her each year.

OPRAH QUOTES:    

On why Oprah doesn’t make a big deal about Valentine’s Day: “Lots of people make a big deal about Valentine’s Day. I don’t—and haven’t since I was a young contestant in the Miss Black America Pageant (I was Miss Black Tennessee). Many of the other girls were receiving flowers and gifts from their beaux. My boyfriend at the time, Bubba—yes, real name—sent me nothing. I felt bad about that and complained to another contestant. She laid this wisdom on me: “Girl, if your man has put a flower on your mind, you won’t need no flowers in a vase!”

On her first impression of Stedman and why she thought he was a ‘player’: “I thought he was nice enough, but I wasn’t that impressed. He was polite, yes, and kind. The sort of guy who sits with an ailing friend. Tall and handsome, for sure. But actually too handsome, I thought, to be interested in me. I figured he must be a player. So did all myproducers. They warned me not to get involved with that Stedman guy.Aside from his appearance, they knew nothing about him. But anybody that good-lookingdriving a vintage Mercedes merited suspicion. So I proceeded with caution, even with afriendship. It wasn’t until months later, when Ilearned he’d broken up with his girlfriend andhad been inquiring about my dating status, thatI gave him a serious thought.”

On saying yes to Stedman’s proposal and then realizing she didn’t want a marriage: In 1993, the moment after I said yes to his proposal, I had doubts. I realized I didn’t actually want a marriage. I wanted to be asked. I wanted to know he felt I was worthy of being his missus, but I didn’t want the sacrifices, the compromises, the day-in-day-out commitment required to make a marriage work. My life with the show was my priority, and we both knew it. He and I agree that had we tied the marital knot, we would not still be together.”

On why their relationship works: “Our relationship works because he created an identity beyond being “Oprah’s man” (he teaches Identity Leadership around the world and has written multiple books on the subject). And because we share all the values that matter (integrity being number one). And because werelish seeing the other fulfill and manifest their destiny and purpose. It’s what Gary Zukav defines as a spiritual partnership: partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. I know for sure it’s the ultimate flower on my mind.”

The OG Chronicles is exclusive to http://OprahMag.com. http://oprahmag.com/oprah-stedman-valentines

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